Sunflower Seed Eating 101
by Mulder's Woman
Summary: Mulder and Scully are on a stakeout. Scully is hungry. Mulder teaches Scully how to eat sunflower seeds. Mulder tells her it really is a tongue job. Just light and fluffy with hints of MSR. Just for fun.


Sunflower Seed Eating 101

Scully was hungry.

She'd been on a stakeout with Mulder for seven hours and it was way past her usual dinner time. Her back was stiff, her sense of boredom was escalating quickly and she was famished.

"Mulder, do you have any food?"

"Scully, you know me, I'm always packing," he said, leaning over and fishing a large bag of sunflower seeds out of the glove compartment. Scully watched incredulously as he opened the bag and handed it to her.

"This, Mulder? This is not food," Scully bellowed. "I don't know why you even bother with these; it's a lot of work for very little substance."

Mulder gave her a pained look. "Well, Scully, unless we're going to break off our investigation right now for you to go fill your belly with salad and low-fat yogurt, then this will have to serve as food."

Scully scowled at the bag of seeds, looked out the window for a moment and then turned to snatch it out of Mulder's hand.

"Fine. I'll make do," she said, plunging her hand into the bag and popping a bunch into her mouth. Despite her penchant for healthy foods, Scully had never eaten sunflower seeds before. She sucked off the salt and tried to crunch through the shells with her back teeth.

"This is impossible," Scully grumbled, rolling the seeds around in her mouth. "How the hell do you get the seeds out?"

Mulder tried to stifle a smile but ended up laughing at his partner's predicament, which earned him a stony stare in return. That only made him laugh harder. Once he gained control of himself, he mentally prepared a lesson plan.

"Okay, Scully, the first thing you've gotta do is get rid of that handful you shoved into your mouth. This isn't salad," he teased.

"Get rid of it….how?"

"You've gotta spit it out; just spit it out the window."

Scully made a face. "Spitting…yuck. That's a part of why this is so gross," she slurred around the mouthful of seeds. Scully didn't spit out the window; she was certain half the seeds would end up in her lap. She opened the car door and spat the mouthful onto the ground.

Feeling more composed, Scully pulled her chin up and said, "Okay, Mulder, I'm ready for a lesson in sunflower seed eating 101."

Mulder grinned at his partner and started what he hoped would be an interesting lesson.

"Okay, Scully, I've been eating these puppies for years and I can pop a big handful in my mouth like you just did and shell them in under a minute. So yes, it is possible to keep a belly full with just sunflower seeds. But you, grasshopper, must start with just one and develop your skills slowly."

"Oh, brother," said Scully, rolling her eyes. "Just show me how to do it, Mulder."

Mulder smiled and wiggled his eyebrows at her. "Show you how to do it, Scully? Anytime," he smirked, reaching into the bag of seeds on her lap and taking out just one.

Scully felt her face go red, but was too hungry to offer a retort to Mulder's latest attempt at innuendo. She followed his lead and took a seed out of the bag.

"Alright, first things first," he said, turning on the overhead light. "Let's look at the shape of the seed. See how they're sort of teardrop shaped, with a round end and a pointy end? That's something you have to think about when they're in your mouth. It'll help your tongue identify how to get them to your sweet spot for cracking. If you turn it on its side, you can see the fullness of the seed. Some are really skinny and some are full and thick. And see how they have a little seam going around their perimeter? You need to have that seam touching between your teeth to crack them."

Scully examined the seed between her fingers. Mulder was right. It was shapely, with a round and a pointed end. The seed inside had swelled the husk and made it round and full. She experimentally grasped the seed by its sides and pressed, but it would not open under the pressure of her fingers.

Mulder noticed her experiment and smirked. "You can try using your fingers, Scully, but this really is a tongue job."

Scully gave her partner and exasperated look. "Fine, Mulder, keep talking. I'm hungry."

Mulder chuckled and continued. "Well, the first thing you need to do is open your mouth and place it on the end of your tongue…don't put it too far back or you might gag." Scully shot him a look again. "I'm serious, Scully. I'm going to try to talk you through this, but it's going to be tough with a seed in my mouth, so you'll have to mostly just watch what I do."

Mulder and Scully each placed a seed on their tongue.

"One of the great pleasures in eating a sunflower seed is sucking off the salt first, so take a moment to suck the seed and get that flavor in your mouth," Mulder instructed. Scully sucked the seed and rolled it around in her mouth. The salt made her mouth water. "It does taste good," she thought silently.

Mulder sucked his seed while watching his partner, rolling it to the front again before talking. "Now usually I would have my mouth closed when I do this, but I'll try to keep it open. You have to get a sense of how the seed feels, its shape, and then move it to one side of your mouth. Keep it on its side and place it gently between your teeth. I put it on the right side to bite it. You'll have to find your own sweet spot. Here goes."

Mulder held his mouth open so Scully could see and tilted his tongue to the side. She watched his tongue him push the seed between his incisors. Mulder nodded and then bit down slowly. She heard the crack she had heard a thousand times before…but this time, she saw the result. Mulder manipulated the seed back onto the tip of his tongue, cracked but not yet shelled.

"Now comes the fun part. Getting the seed out of the shell. The outside is rough, but the inside is silky smooth, so that's what you're going to feel for with your tongue." Scully watched mesmerized as Mulder tongued the seed to his incisors again, bit down slowly and moved his tongue over to manipulate the seed out of the shell. She watched his lips as he closed his mouth to chew and swallowed the seed.

"Your turn," he said, spitting the shell out the window.

"Okay," said Scully, pushing the seed in her mouth over between her teeth. She tried to roll it into position on its side, but was having some difficulty. She looked at Mulder questioningly.

"Try sucking a little. If you increase the pressure inside your mouth, you'll be able to hold it in place."

Scully followed his advice and sucked. She tasted a bit more salt. The seed was soon clamped between her teeth and she bit down. It cracked neatly in two. Getting the seed out was a little more challenging, but her tongue found the silky smooth interior surface of the shell and she was able to scoop it out. Scully smiled at Mulder as she chewed and swallowed her first sunflower seed. She spit the seed into her hand and looked up at Mulder, who was grinning from ear to ear.

"You did it, Scully," he beamed, slowly embracing her. The two agents laughed in each other's arms. As Scully withdrew, she kissed Mulder on the forehead. "Thank you," she said. "You saved my life one more time." Mulder just smiled and said, "anytime."

Scully put the bag of seeds between them and each of the agents took a handful. Mulder popped a bunch into his mouth, while Scully adventurously took two. Their stakeout was a failure that night. The suspect never showed.

The agents silently munched away through the night. Scully even experimented with spitting seeds out the window. Mulder pretended not to notice when they fell in her lap.


End file.
